All the stitches and staples are now out of my body. No more nerve blockers. No more obsessing whether I need pain meds or not… and unfortunately still no work for yet another week. The doctor was worried that I’d push myself too hard too soon, possibly damaging the healed tissue. Though part of me was happy, another part of me had this sinking dread… A feeling that I was letting my work and my co-workers down. Didn’t matter that we had talked about the possibility of a medical extension. I just don’t give myself a break, do I?
I am announcing several changes. Despite being instructed to have a gratitude list of 10 everyday, I’m going to cut that to a number that seems right. It may be 10 – it may be five. Though I do like digging and seeing the little things I should not be ungrateful for, I also want to make this process simpler and more enjoyable. I also want to spend more time in checking in. I’d like to actually log my thoughts and life events on this virtual log, if you will. Once I begin working, this will be more difficult. Hopefully, this simpler log check-in will do more good.
- I did not pray to my HP this morning (but I did last night).
- My gratitude list:
- I’m grateful with keeping this blog as long as I have. It has really helped.
- I’m grateful of my education. I can write, speak and maneuver better in life much better than if I hadn’t.
- I’m appreciative of the warm jacket I was gifted a few days ago.
- I’m grateful of this heater.
- I’m happy that my books are still standing. That war on mold really had me worried, but it’s under control and my most prized possessions are safe.
- I will reach out to other addicts today (I did so last night).
- I will go to a meeting today (I did not last night).
- I will pray tonight (I did last night).